Thursday, April 10, 2014

I wanted to share something...

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She hesitantly entered the room and sat on the comfortable looking chair. She liked that particular furniture there. Just when she was making a mental note to ask him about it before leaving, he entered the room.
“How are today?” he asked a subtle smile covering his face. She knew he was not supposed to smile at her. But he knew that his smile puts her at ease. So he smiles every time she comes to him.
“I am doing well.”
“If I am not wrong, our meeting was scheduled for the next week right?”
“Yes. But I wanted to share something with you. I am planning to meet you next week as well.” She beamed.
A part of him was not happy with the fact that she was glad to see him again and again. A greater part of him was just happy that she beamed about something. He had known her for a few months now and this was the first time she was truly proud/happy about something.
“So what is it?”
“I found out a way to relax. Well you have already suggested me those things. But none of them worked when I tried it out. So I combined some of it.”
“Like?”
“You see my office campus is a huge one. To get to the front gate you can use many paths. Most of them use the shortest way out. I chose the longest way out. That is through the drive way with all the trees on either side. I have a specific playlist for my walk back home. Those are the songs that either lift up my mood or put me into a deeper depression. I sing along the lines. Since no one walks that way, there haven’t been any causalities.” She laughed at her own joke.
“So you are saying you are calm by the time you reach home?”
“Kind of. It depends. But yeah! I get a little de-stressed. And there was something that happened last night. Every night I look up to see just clouds. I love the moon you see. Last night I glance up once there she is with all her glory and her calming effect. I got so happy. But then I look up again moments later and she is gone. It was as if she wanted me to see her. So she showed up just for me a only for a moment.”
He didn’t say anything. He just nodded.
“I got something for you.” She took out what looked like a greeting card and handed it to him. “Please accept it.”
As he took it, she bid him good bye and left.
There was a small letter to in the thank you greeting card.
‘Every time I say something, people tell me I haven’t seen much in life. They say they have seen harder times. They start comparing my life to theirs. That hurts way too much. Everyone has their own battles. While I am battling depression, anxiety and fear my mother battles her health problems. They haven’t seen how much I struggle to just fall asleep. They don’t see that my sleep gives me nightmares while sleep deprivation gives me health problems. They just say, be happy you are going through something that is not as worse as their life is. I would want to tell them off. When I say I haven’t had lunch, they need not take me to the cafeteria and make sure I eat. But the least they could do is not say that there are million babies in Africa that haven’t eaten as well. I know, even now I am ranting and that is bad. But with every happy thought I get, I get bad negative thoughts as well. Can’t help it.
I want to thank you though. No one takes time for my silliest happiness and achievements. But you do. I don’t think all therapists do that. I have seen quite a few so I know.
My relaxation technique works for a very small time. But I am happy that it does. Those happen to make my day and I go to bed with a small smile that I got to see the moon during that walk.

Thank you’


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Do I have to say more to this story? I cried a bit while writing it. Never underestimate someone's pain. When you look from a distance it might look like a mustard seed but only the person carrying it would know the weight and depth of it. 
Thank you for the support from all you guys! My blog crossed 2000 hits! yay!!!!!
Pic courtesy: Andertoons

2 comments:

  1. Very true Raji, "Everyone has their own battles. And one should never underestimate someone's pain as only the person carrying the pain would know the weight and depth of it."

    Congrats for your blog crossing 2000 hits :)

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  2. Ditto Preethi :) You go, girl! Yay! Your blog hit 2k+ Awesome :)

    ReplyDelete