Thursday, October 25, 2012

Clouds...


I won't say it's a story. It's just a passage I wrote a few years back. This one was one of my first attempts to write something short and brief. I will continue once you read the piece...


For anyone who is laughing all the time, you can conclude that they have something sad in their heart and they are just laughing to cover up the hurt. Well there are those few who are laughing because they are truly happy. But this category has very scarce people and they often go into the 1st category after a while.
But has anyone thought about what is the only difference between them? Everyone will say that the first ones are sad and the others are happy. That is not the answer though. The simple answer is when people are truly happy they have someone to share it with. But when that someone leaves them for one reason or the other, even the greatest happiness will seem too sad.
It certainly cannot be concluded that loneliness is the reason for happiness or gloomy feelings. There are other reasons as well. When someone is happy just ask them if they have anything that will make them sad and they will say yes with a smile. You know why? Because at that moment that smile is on their face for a big reason which is dominating. You go to the same person the next day; they might breakdown even talking about their problems. The happy moment has passed out and now they realise that they have to face those problems again.
The entire blue of the sky is full of our negative thoughts and feelings. Those big white clouds are the ones that are made up of all the positive feelings that will make a person smile, laugh, enjoy. As long as we are in the cloud we smile and as soon as the clouds go past us, we are left behind those feelings which make us feel void.
Some people see this fact in the exact opposite way. Well perspective changes and so do people. Sometimes we think that happiness has left us and is not going to come back. For those ones, please remember that clouds do come back. They may not be in the same shape and size as you had once seen them to be, but you will surely come across another one which is different in all aspects.


Its too short. I know. That was the first ever comment I got when I shared it to a writer friend. But he said he like the idea. My sibling on the other said that I am filled with the negative emotions and that is why I see the sky as the negativity. He was correct in a way. But then I still go with the same words. Everyone have negative stuff as the base. But there are always clouds, smaller or bigger which are the happy moments of our lives. Its our wish and will to whether notice those clouds or not. 

This article is dedicated to a very special friend whom I met recently but just had this connection with. Thank you so much for being my cloud!!!! 


Aratrika

Monday, October 22, 2012

Relationships

A friend of mine read this story and the first thing she asked was 'You saw that chic flick last night, didn't you?'  Well this story was inspired by a movie but not the one she was talking about. I honestly don't remember the name of that stupid movie but its the usual chic flick where best friends become lovers and get married. 
Friendship NEVER turns into love. C'mon people! Friendship is not like a caterpillar to be turned into a butterfly such as love. The story might seem to cliche. But the note I have tried to convey through the story is something I haven't seen much around in movies or books. So enjoy reading!



“Is that all?” a young man around his early twenties asked as he kept down a heavy looking cardboard box. He is not exactly the charmer a girl would fall for, but he is a little hunky and his manly features are indeed enough to charm a girl.
“I think that’s the last of it Prem!” a young woman of a similar age said falling down on the couch which still had a brown paper wrapped around it. Neeraja and Prem have been friends for almost 10 years now.
Currently Prem was helping Neeraja move into her new apartment which was right opposite to his own studio apartment. Their friendship was always mistaken by everyone around them including Prem’s parents and Neeraja’s father. She had lost her mother while she was still a baby and never knew what mother’s love is. And Prem, he is just the independent guy who never gives a damn for his family and moved out of his home when he started college. Though his parents still supported him by sending him money every month, he never used that money. His part time job at a BPO centre pays well for him to take care of tuition fees as well as other requirements.
In short he is the free living, cool guy who is fun to hang out with.
Neeraja on the other hand is the exact opposite of Prem. She could be the college beauty if she just showed everyone how beautiful she is. But she always chose to braid that long silky hair and wear clothes that were a little big for her petite body. Her speciality is her eyes. Anyone who looks right into those eyes will get lost in those beautiful deep red eyes. Her eyes were of dark maroon shade that could be easily mistaken for brown. And yet she chooses to hide those beautiful sparkling gems under a dull thick framed spectacle. She has a lot of talents which ranges from cooking to dancing to architecture. She is the perfect working wife, who is totally organised and is never late for anything. She is all a man could ever wish for.
Except there is one problem! She never believed in love. ‘Why?’ a lot of people ask her. But she just shrugs it off saying that it is not her kind of thing to fall in love or love some man and bear his babies. Many tried to talk her out of it. By ‘it’ I mean her decision to stay as a spinster. There was one person who never spoke about this topic to her.
Her father.....
He was a man of few words, but his selection of words was so good that it never failed to make an impact on others. Their father-daughter relationship was probably and is still a strange one. They never said that they love each other or even spent much time doing things a father and daughter does. They never had fun like the other families. Yet they both understood each other very well. Sundaram never questioned his daughter like the usual fathers when she came back home late, or when she comes home with a guy (which always happens to be Prem).
There was this one time he asked her about her relationship with the boy for which she answered ‘We are just friends...’
After that he never asked her about it until his last day. He recently passed away leaving all his earnings to his only daughter. She sold off their house and rented this apartment in hopes that she could start her own construction company soon.
Neeraja was the girl who had learnt to build a wall around her at a very young age. She herself didn’t know the reason as to why she had built a wall...
Prem was the only one who was able to walk right through those invisible barriers and till date he is the only one who truly knows the real Neeraja.
They both may claim that they had been friends for a long time. But in reality Prem had fallen for Neeraja the minute he saw her in his class during school. He had denied it until they finished school thinking that it was just an attraction. But then his feelings got strong when they went to separate colleges and had lesser time to spend together. Still they were able to keep their relationship as strong as it used to be in school.
He never told her about his feelings. Two reasons; one was that he was afraid that he will lose her friendship as well; two was that he was afraid of rejection. To summarise, he is a coward and is afraid to tell her how he feels though it hurt him a lot.
It hurt him when he saw her going on a date with her classmate. It hurt him when he saw her trying to find the love she needs in that guy while he was standing right beside her. It hurt him even more when she turned up at his doorstep one night crying because she was too hurt from her attempts at trying to find love. What hurt him the most was when she decided that she will never get married or even try to acknowledge the love she might probably get from Mr.Right....
But he was this sturdy guy who didn’t want to show his weaknesses to her. He was always there to comfort her. She didn’t cry much in front of her relatives when her father died. He was the only one privileged enough to see her tears and he never tried to wipe them away. He wanted her to cry out all she wants, so that she will run out of tears. But to his disappointment, the tears never stopped.
It killed him to see her cry. He hated himself for not being able to protect her from the heart ache.
Days went by and they both continued with their lives. She worked as an architect in a famous construction company and he ran a small bookstore cum coffee shop with the help of his college friend.
Life was good until Prem got that wretched letter one fine morning. His dream was to become a dancer and start his own dance school. But for that he needed to attend a famous dance academy that produced the world’s fine dancers. He had finally gotten the letter of acceptance at the academy. But that meant he has to leave this place for good and god knows when he will return. This academy made sure that aspiring dancers had a job at hand by the end of their course and mostly this placement was at some abroad country.
Of course he had to go for it and pursue his dreams. But what will happen to his friend/ secret love Neeraja? Thoughts tormented him as he prepared to leave. Neeraja was a little sad, but her happiness was just more in quantity that it masked the sadness. Two more months left for his departure and they decided to make the best of these two months.
Though these two practically grew up together, not even his finger tips would have touched her in these 10 years. Not even while comforting her did he take advantage of her vulnerability... Any other guy would have done that, but not Prem.
Soon it was the day. Just the two friends left for the airport in silence. None spoke a single word until the final call for security check was heard.
‘Take care Prem... Call me as soon as you get settled there and stay in touch....’ she said with a small smile adorning her face.
She wasn’t wearing her specs today and he was glad about it. He never liked that thing from the start. He looked into her eyes one more time. The same sparkle that had made him fall head over heels for the angle was there.
With suddenly formed determination he pulled her into a hug. This was the first them they have had physical contact at all. They both stood there savouring the other’s presence. He wanted to remember everything about her. Her eyes, her hair, her smell, her smile, her everything....
‘I love you Neeraja.... Someday I will come for you with a ring....’ he whispered in her ear. Breaking the embrace, he yelled a bye and ran off towards the security check.
For the first time in her life she let her tears roll down in a public place. For the first time in her life he was not there to see her glistening tears. Had he been there, he would have noticed that they were not tears of sadness but tears of happiness.
That was when she realised that what they had was never friendship. It had been pure, unadulterated love from the beginning.... They had failed to see it....
Friendship never turns into love. It is love that has been mistaken for friendship and they realise that it is love at a later stage....
No one relationship can ever change into another in this world.... A friend will always be a friend and a lover will always be a lover.





Aratrika 

Monday, October 15, 2012

A Portrait

I think I will follow my previous pattern of writing the story first and then write about the story. So here we go!


“Um Excuse me...” She looked up at the strange male voice that disturbed her leisure time. She was met with an almost puppy dog face sported by a handsome young man. She couldn’t help but smile at his look as she asked “Yes! How may I help you?”
“You see I have come for the inter college cultural fest. I am participating in this event called pencil sketching. I started out a little late and have just one hour left to depict a lonely girl...” he paused.
“Why are you telling me all these?” she asked him even though she understood why he was telling this to her.
“I was wondering if I could use you as my model for the theme...” he paused again but continued “You know you kind of depict a perfect lonely girl! I am not telling that you look depressed or anything, I am just telling that you have this serenity around you. You looked kind of interesting especially the way you were sitting resting on that trunk and reading your book. I shall give you a part of the prize money as royalty if I manage to win!” he exclaimed.
She raised her eyebrows for a moment.
“I am not asking you to sit in any particular way or anything. You can continue reading your book and I will just draw you. You look like an intent reader! I promise you I won’t be of any disturbance!” he held up his hand as if taking an oath.
“Alright!” she said and sat down in her previous pose. Resting on the trunk of a tree and continued reading her novel titled ‘Me & U’
He sat down in front of her and started spreading out his materials.
As he started drawing her portrait, his entire concentration was fixed on the girl and her features. Her thick black hair that was tied in a lose pony, the way her bangs framed her face, her thick long lashes that made her eyes attractive. The more he drew, the more he had to cover her fine details and the more he started liking her.
She was not the type of girl who would make you turn around and see. But she has this calm appearance that does not scream ‘Give me all the attention’
Her silent persona is what he really liked about her in this short span of time. She is really beautiful and if she wished she could even be a model. But her conservative clothes and style shows that she wishes to be by herself and not surrounded by a big group of fake friends.
She must have come across a good part in the book, because she was smiling. That moment she looked up from her book and noticed the weird guy drawing with a goofy smile on his face.
“What are you smiling about?” she asked him out of curiosity.
“You smiled, so I smiled!” he said and continued his work as she continued her work.
Though she looked like she was reading the book, she was actually stealing glances at the artist every now and then.
She noticed that he was rather handsome. Any other girl in her place would have started drooling at this good looking artist. But she had to read or at least pretend to read now because that is her pose. She can’t look at him for long.
His thin button up shirt did not do a good job in hiding his toned muscles. His piercing look had the power to shatter anyone’s concentration and he was successful in her case.
While he intently drew the details she intently saved his image in her head. She wanted to remember each and every detail about him. He already had a portrait to remember her. But she had her memories alone. She was not good at drawing to draw his portrait later on and preserve.
The said one hour was almost over and he was done with his sketch. As he gathered his stuff and got up to leave she called him.
“Um, can I have your mobile number?” she asked in a really shy tone. He should have been the one to ask for her number. But him being the gentle man, he decided to leave the girl in her peaceful shell.
It was his turn to raise eyebrows “Why do you want my number?” he asked wanting to tease her a little.
“You said you will give me royalty right! Your sketch looks pretty impressive. In case you win, you will need a way to contact me right?” she said smartly.
With a smile he took out his mobile and went towards her in order to get her number.
Just a portrait, but it may be the beginning of a lot of small or big things...


So this story popped into my head when I went with my friend to an actual drawing contest. Nah! I am no good at drawing, much less pencil sketching. Even a 10 year old child will hand over a better drawing compared to mine. But this friend of mine, he is a fantastic artist. He was the runner up in that contest. They were given three themes out of which the participant can draw under any one topic. Though he didn't choose the 'Lonely Girl' topic, I felt that it was an interesting theme that too it has to be depicted in a pencil sketch. The beauty of that theme is that, the artist has to bring out a girl's emotions using the grey scale. That is a challenge and only a few drew out of which none were good enough. 
So I was waiting for the contest to get over and I had nothing but my imagination as company. So this piece came to me. Hope it does not resemble the scenes in Titanic Movie :-P 




Aratrika